i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
