I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
