oh god the rape fog is back!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
