There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
