the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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