either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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