just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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