no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
