real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize