I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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