Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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