We named our party play list daddy issues
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
