It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
