At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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