the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
