There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
