It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
