How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
