and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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