It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
