I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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