I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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