wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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