are you still at the devil's house?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
