it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
