i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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