Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
