we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
