Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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