one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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