My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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