all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
