I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
