party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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