she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
