I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
