check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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