i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
