everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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