I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
