i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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