glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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