Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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