I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
