dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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