Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
