I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
