I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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