I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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