I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
