Dual....:-)
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
