Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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