if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
